Copyright/Publisher: Ubi Soft, Release Year: 1992,
Genre: Football/Soccer, Number Of Players: 1 to 4
The ZZAP! reviewers were incredulous to find shower-murderer Norman Bates had endorsed a footy
compilation - all apart from PHIL 'PUB TRIVIA' KING, who pointed out that 'Psycho' is also
the nickname of Notts Forest and England star, Stuart Pearce!
One might well ask, 'What does an England player know about football anyway?', but Stuart
'Psycho' Pearce is a true pro. In fact, he's one of my favourite players with his rock 'ard
tackling and rocket free kicks.
With all those years of Cloughie shouting in his ear, what
the 'young man' doesn't know about footy isn't worth an Accrington Stanley season ticket.
So why ever has he endorsed such a dreary compilation of soccer sims?
It kicks off with Kick Off 2, a not-too-brilliant conversion of the legendary Amiga game.
It's a fair attempt with the full quota of league and cup options, and the famous push-along
dribbling. Trouble is, it's got more than its fair share of flaws, including sluggish scrolling,
unintelligent players and a tiny, useless radar scanner.
Send it off!||
Far worse is World Championship Soccer, a chronic conversion of a dodgy Sega coin-op. As
with Kick Off 2, it's an overhead-view, up-and-down-the-screen jobbie. However, here the
ball is glued to your foot for easy dribbling.
And thick computer goalies make things
even simpler - by approaching from a wide angle you can dribble straight past them to score!
Play is further spoilt by a confusing control system; the shot-height control stays the same,
no matter which direction you're facing. Even a full World Cup tournament can't stop this
slimy sim shooting well wide of the target.
Come on you reds!||
An innovative mixture of management and arcade action is on offer in Manchester United. Not to
be confused with its superior sequel (Man Utd Europe), this isn't a premier league title
Selection of players and formation is good, but let down by a dodgy match section. Simple
hit-and-hope footy takes place on a horizontally scrolling, overhead-view ptich, with no
frills and few thrills.
Ball-glued-to-foot dribbling and the limitation of shooting straight
ahead make for dull dunkey-style play, while good computer goalies ensure ultra-low scorelines.
What a loada rubbish!||
Last, and most definitely least, is one of the most appalling games (never mind soccer sims)
ever to 'grace' the 64. Fighting Soccer is yet another chronic coin-op conversion with no
feeling for the game whatsoever. If the hazy, monochromatic graphics don't put you off,
the snail-paced 'action' certainly will.
Worst of all is the piddle-poor responsiveness of the controls - the players take about
half a second to follow your joystick movements! The only minor amusement is the way the
players jump miles into the air to head the ball.
Step into the shower||
When you can buy both the best two C64 soccer sims (MicroProse and Emlyn Hughes) on budget,
the temptation to splesh out up to £20 on four far inferior footy games is about as
strong as Birmingham City's defence.